underworld 3..

Malam sebelumnya was quite a unpleasant nite. Walaupun hari sebelumnya tu adalah hari yang best.. spending my time with  boss all day.. and berakhir dgn makan steamboat di Johnny's Jusco Wangsa Maju. Happy sgt2.. sebab sbnrnya hari nak celebrate birthday boss (belated) sbb b4 this tak berkesempatan..  So..suka sangat.. tapi bila balik malam tu somebody spoilt our day.. end up mood aku hilang.. menyampah betul aku...

Anyway, mmg dah janji dgn boss the next day nak gi tengok Underworld 3, walaupun at first dia cakap.. cerita tu tak sesuai utk aku (yg lemah lembut ni.. ~aku yg tambah.. huhu) tapi dgn sape lg nak gi tgk wayangkan... aku pun kalau x dgn dia.. mmg xde la nak gi menonton. Jwbnyer dload movie dari torrent jer la.. So pagi2 tu boss dah bg time pukul berapa movie kat TGV KLCC tu.. sama2 decide nak tgk yg 1.20pm.. aku actually rasa penat jugak sebab previous day sehari suntuk berjalan2.. but semangat tetap ade walaupun dah spoil sikit..

So dlm pkl 11.35 aku smpi gombak.. naik lrt dari taman melati ke klcc..  dah beli tiket kena tunggu sbb agak awal.. so boss yang tak makan (ade ke tak bfast/lunch lg.. :P) beli roti ape tah kat bakery bawah tu.. aku still kenyang makan nasi lemak kat rumah... yg paling best terjumpa kedai Lovely Lace yang aku cari2 selama ini untuk membeli pewangi yg aku letak dlm kereta... baunyer harum..  best.. aku suka.. nyaman jer bau dlm keta aku yg skrg ni xde aircon. :|

Haa..tu gmbr iklan dlm movie theater tu.. mujur xkena tangkap amik gmbr dlm tu.. huhu.. 

Anyway... sebenarnya nak cerita yg movie underworld 3 tu mmg best.. aku sebenanrnya mmg tak dela suka sgt filem yg ganas2 dgn bunyi yg berdegang degung ni.. tp.. bila tengok cerita ni mmg rasa best.. tapi maleh aa nak citer pasal citer tu.. huhu.. cuma ada ganas...  ada slow sikit.. dan ade sedih... adehh..adeh.. sedih la plak.. mujur org kat sebelah xpasan aku meleleh airmata time Sonya mati terbakar.. kalau tak..huhu.. tp rugi gak kot dia xpasan pasal tah2 silap2  dia akan tolong sapukan airmata aku (cehh..cehhh.. berangan xhengat!!!!).  Tapi mmg sedih aa time tu.. tahan je tak nak bagi smpi jelas airmata aku kuar... so biarjela mengalir.. lgpun lam gelapkan.. sape nampak... huhu... bila dah time aksi-aksi keluar.. barula slow-slow aku sapu airmata yg melekat kat pipi... tektik la katakan... :) . sape2 yg lom gi tgk citer tu pergi la tgk.. best.. hihi.. mekasih boss.. 

Ape2 pun the two days was really nice and sgt best... smlm gi LCCT pulak ambik yg i kirim from my friend yg baru balik dr nz.. kesian boss yg baru balik kerja + demam ikut gak gi LCCT..  moga hari ni boss dah feel much better ekk.. (mc tu..). 

~mel

tq for giving me the confidence that desperately needed right now..

facebook

yesterday borak-borak dengan si dia dan tiba-tiba termasuk bab facebook.. mulanya cerita pasal birthday. . dia cakap last yeartime birthday dia we all belum ade fb.. aku cakap.. ehh dah adalah.. bila check balik kami ada facebook since middle of 2007. Dah agak lama.. Masa tu org malaysia mmg tak berapa ramai yang join facebook.. nak cari kawan mmg susah.. kalau add sesiapayang tidak dikenali kat facebook.. mulalah dapat message... "do i know you??" macam pesalah besar bila add somebody yg tidak dikenali...

So, end up si dia tu hampir-hampir join network INDIA sebab kawan fb dia kebnyakannya dari India..huhu.. kawan-kawan terawal di fb rasanya mmg cool.. walau tak ramai tapi best.. i really miss the old facebook.. sebabnya sekarang ni terlalu bnyk features tp kat wall hanya boleh tulis.. bila add gambar sume akan hilang dari wall...

Dan bila ingat2kan kembali.. application yg selalu digunakan dulu adalah GRAFITI.. aku masih ingat dulu2 mmg aku selalu leka buat grafiti tu.. susah nak kontrol mouse utk lukis.. tp tetap ingin cuba.. bila dah terlalu banyak apps.. tetiba grafiti dilupakan pulak.. hmm.. anyway..bila sidia tu start bergrafiti balik semalam.. rasa best sgt.. rasa rindu kat facebook dulu... banyak kenangan tu.. oleh kerana dulu2 xde ramai kawan.. fb tu jadi tempat gaduh pun boleh... tempat merajuk pun boleh.. nak lepas rindu pun boleh.. :P skrg terpaksa kontrol2 nnt obvious la kat kwn2.. err.. agak xbest jugak tu... huhu..

Dulu2 fb tak de chat.. kat wall xleh upload gambar.. kena upload di superwall..

Sekarang ni facebook masih best.. makin banyak apps.. tapi yg dulu2 tu sukar dilupakan.. sekarang ni friends aku lagi seorg nak cukup 500..tp ape maknanya.. ade kawan facebook yg kenal.. ade yg tak kenal.. ade yg baik di fb.. ade yg macam tak wujud.. but that's how it goes..

kenangan mende kat bawah ni.. dan bunga kat atas tu.. dari wall facebook.. miss it...

_____oooooooooo_______oooo

oooo
___ooooooooooooo___ooooooooooooo
___oooooooooooooo_oooooooooooooo
___ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
____oooojust wanna say i love uooooo
_____ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
______ooooooooooooooooooooooo
_________oooooooooooooooooo
___________ooooooooooooo
_____________ooooooooo
______________oooooo
_______________oooo
_______________ooo
______________oo
_____________o
___________o
________oo
______ooo
_____oooo
___oooooo
___ooooooo
____oooooooo
______oooooooo
________oooooooo
_________ooooooo
_________ooooooo
________oooooo........
_______ooooo.......
_____ooooo........
___ooooo...........
__ooo.............
__oo..................
__ o............

~mel
missing it... and u..

iron..grrr...

Aku kena beli iron baru!!!

pagi - meeting at 9am.. dah beberapa hari aku pergi kerja dalam pukul 11 pg.. bila ada meeting pkl 9 mmg malas giler nak keluar awal... tp terpaksalah kan.. oleh kerana aku ade workshop pukul 2.30-4.30 ptg di makmal komputer, aku decide hari ni nak pakai baju kurung.. dlm ertikata lain nak melawa sikit la..

So. pagi2 td dlm kemalasan aku menggosok baju kurung biru yg aku jarang2 pakai.. rasanya baru 2 kali aku pakai baju tu.. tudung biru dan cadang2nya nak pakai sandal biru.. sebelum menggosok aku tuangkan air dalam steam iron ku yg brand tah ape2 tu.. sebelum ni iron ni telah memusnahkan sehelai tudung aku & melubangkan sehelai kain baju kurung aku... so mmg aku sentiasa amat berhati2 dengan iron ni.. tp sejak akhir2 ni aku rasa aku cam dah setkan iron tu ok ok jer utk menggosok baju aku..

Biasanya aku kalau menggosok baju kurung.. aku akan gosok kain bhg atas dahulu.. so hari ni spt biasa aku gosok kain... bila aku dah nak habis menggosok.. tetiba aku tgk.. ehhh..berlubang kain ni.. bila pulak masanya aku melubangkannyer.. mmg tak perasan langsung dan tak de tanda2 lekat ke hape.. tension betul aku.. bila tgk tmpt berlubang tu.. aku sambil2 berdoa agar baju kurung ku dpt menutupi lubang... sbbnya lubang tu dah nak bhg ke bawah dah...

Dalam hati yg tension.. aku gosok jugaklah baju + tudung sampai habis.. mujurlah bila pakai baju tu kain yg berlubang td dpt ditutup dgn baju tu... grrr... tension2.. dahlah baju baru 2kali pakai... walaupun x nampak..still dah cacat baju kurung tu.. + kena otter sikit sbb nnt lubang makin besar... adeh..adeh...

kain baju kurung ku yg koyak...
psstt.. warna putih tu aku buh kertas kat bawah tu huhu..
nak bagi nmpak clear lobangnyer.. :P


mel~
kena cari yg ada brand kot.. barulah ok...

Ehh..

Monday.. such a lazy day as usual.. bila berkata tentang malas.. everything jadi malas.. malas gi kerja, malas nak buat ape2, malas nak melawa, malas nak pakai baju formal2 sgt... so, today at 10am aku baru bersiap2 nak pergi ke opis.. oleh kerana hari ni xde kelas.. aku decide nak pakai baju sempoi2 aje.. mmg sempoi abis blouse + pants.. kasut pun pakai kasut flat yg hari2 aku pakai.. walaupun ada meeting in the afternoon.. aku fikir bigboss takkan tegur lah.. huhu..

So time nak gi meeting kol 2.30 kat my faculty main building, otw nak turun tangga terserempak dgn kerani faculty aku.. memula dia wat tak tau je kat aku.. tetiba bila dia tgk muka aku, cam terkejut.. then dia senyum lebar.. aku pun senyumla but without words.. then bila smpi bawah one of my colleagues cakap meeting kat atas kat bilik boss.. tukar tempat.. so aku pun naik atas balik.. Bila sampai luar bilik boss, aku tgk secretary dia dok mengadap fax machine dgn minah yg aku jumpa kat tangga tadi.. so aku pun malas la nak kacau.. so aku terus gi kat pintu bilik boss.. sambil jenguk2..intai2.. tgk dia tak de..belum sempat nak pusing tetiba kena tegur.. skripnyer cam ni..

"ehh.. u nak ape?"

then aku pusing... muka secretary boss aku horror giler.. dan cakap..

"err.. sorry dr. saya mati2 ingat dr. ni student tadi, ingatkan student mana lah terus2 jer gi kat pintu bilik boss tak thru saya.. rupa2nyer dr. ... "

pastu minah kerani tu nyampuk..

"tu lah, saya pun tadi ingatkan student kat tangga.. pakai cam ni mmg sebijik tak nampak cam lecturer.. betul2 ingat student, kalau gi kat bawah silap2 kena marah dgn kerani2 yg tak kenal sbb masuk opis.. ingatkan student.."


Aku pun tak tau nak cakap ape.. since aku kalau xde kelas mmg malas pakai baju kurung ke... kebaya ke.. kalau hari khamis mmg sorry.. xpernah pakai batik..huhu.. lagipun kalau aku berkurung sehari suntuk dlm opis aku.. aku pakai t-shirt & jeans pun xde masalah.. bukan org nampak.. huhu.. kan.. tingat lecturer2 aku time study kat nz dulu.. time summer panas2 masing pakai suar pendek baju hawai pakai sandel cokia.. apasal la kat msia xcenggitu...huhu..



~mel
i'll put on whatever i feel comfortable with..

hari ni layan lagu scorpion nie.. masa kecik2 mmg selalu layan lagu scorpion sebenarnya.. my brother yg memperkenalkan lagu2 scorpion ni.. mmg minat la.. tapi tulah kan.. betul gak cakap si scorpion ni.. hidup ini macam sungai.. kdg2 boleh jadi banjir.. kadang2 bila kemarau boleh jadi kering.. ada pasang dan surutnya.. hayatilah lirik lagu ni...

LIFE'S LIKE A RIVER

...Scorpion


As years are passing by
Silence becomes your friend
You see the world in a different way
Don't be afraid of getting old
Life's still full of joy
And the beauty of the past is rejoicing your mind

When days are getting short
And winter comes along
Your life slows down and down
Like a river is getting wide
The worlds have lost their voice
You remember your morning flowing to the endless sea

When days are getting short
And winter comes along
Your life slows down and down
Like a river is getting wide
The worlds have lost their voice
You remember your morning flowing to the endless sea

Life's like a river in the mountain
Life's like a sea without end
Life's like a river in the mountain
Life's like a sea without end

Life's like a river in the mountain
Life's like a sea without end
Life's like a river in the mountain
Life's like a sea without end


~mel
banjir... kemarau.. banjir.. kemarau..

i should..

i should keep myself to myself
i should not talk too much
i should know who i am
i should think properly
i shoud be more careful
i should be more alert
i should be more confident
i should... i don't know.. what should i do...

Damn me!! I'm mad to myself..
Oh god.. i'm sad.. again.. and again...
Why do i have to be here...



~mel
totaly confused, totaly blank, totaly numb.
ya allah... help me!

Empty..

Empty.. this what i feel right now.. dunno how to describe it.. i'm hoping for a happy life.. a happier life.. a sense of belonging.. at the moment i know.. i'm totally alone.. just realised that if i died in this empty house.. no one will ever know.. no one.. and that might be my fate...

In my emptiness.. suddenly this song appeared in a friend's last.fm in his blog.. some of the lyrics in this song just make my tears flow.. yes.. i tried my hardest to forget everything.. tried my hardest to fake a smile.. but at the moment.. i am really afraid...

KC- Because Of You..
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you


~mel
i have only me.. only me..

Lagu baru KC..

Mmg suka lagu2 dari KC ni since time she was in American Idol.. lepas2 tu dah kurang mengikuti American Idol or ape2 jenis Idol yang lain.. sebenarnya dah kurang tgk tv.. only once a while jer tgk tv huhu.. skrg ni tgh dok fikir nak masuk Astro kat rumah tp bila fikir2 selalu jer tak jd nak masuk.. sebab bimbang nanti Astro tu akan menangis mintak ditonton.. huhu..

Anyway.. ok gak la lagu baru dia nie.. tapi rasanyer yg paling suka lagu because of you... suka..suka.. sgt..


Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Sucks Without You
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go
Oh yeah
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

kalau nak dengar lagu ni kat sini..



~mel
because of you.. my life would be suck without you... tau kan?

meeting.. meeting...

Aku sbnrnya kt dlm meeting ni haa.. meeting yg drag dari pukul 2.30 ptg dan mnjangkau lebih pkl 5. adeh.. siap meninggikan suara.. marah2 dsbgnya. entahla aku sbg staff baru dok senyap je la. duduk senyap cam tikus xtau nak buat ape.. sambil2 tgk jam.. ikut pengalaman aku la.. since dtg sini tak pernah ade meeting kat sini yg habis on time.. bila dah tak puas hati mesti nak menang jugak.. sedangkan semua ahli mesyuarat semuanya org best2..

agaknya mungkin tak bila masing2 dah berada di dlm peringkat cam ni.. susah nk terima pendapat org. saling nak salah menyalah dan xnak mengaku salah.. susah betul.. hmmm..

salmiza kat sebelah aku dah mnguap tah berapa ratus kali.. aku pun samala.. perut lak berkeroncong lapar.. aaarrghh.. kalaulah aku boleh bukak ipod dgr lagu ke.. dah ler aku yo yo jer grab sim card celcom td tp last2 terlupa nk bawak fon HTC aku yg aku guna utk surf internet bila xde wireless. berguna gak celcom broadband tu.. tu sbb aku syg lak nk disconnect celcom.. jd sekarang aku guna 2 connection - celcom + streamyx.

anyway... meeting lom abis.. jam dah pkl 5.30 ptg.. agenda ada lg tiga.. mata aku dah kelabu berpinau2.. silau2 lg.. 2-3 hari lps check mata org kt kedai mata tu ckp mata aku sensitif kt silau.. huhu.. skrg aku bukan rasa mata aku sensitif kat silau.. tp mataku dah xlarat utk dibuka.. tolong... tolong...


~mel
kalau cari telur ni mesti ranking dah naik bnyk...huhu..


p/s.. mujur lepas meeting td ada makan2.. huhu..sedap lak tu.. :P


Sent from my iPhone

Tirai baru...

Has been quite a while since this blog is updated.. sampaikan ada dpt hint... 21 dec was the last entry.. huhu.. masa tu masih di new zealand.. time tu sibuk kemas barang utk shipping ke malaysia.. sibuk shopping & dllg.. balik dari nz terus start kerja.. laptop pulak buat hal.. slow semacam.. so gi tukar RAM.. bila dah tukar asyik terpadam sendiri pulak.. pergi format window.. dari vista ke xp.. tak jugak ok.. anyway.. xtau la macam mana.. masih under testing lg laptop ni.. harap xbuat hal lg sebab malas dah nak fikir...

Hari ni dah hari kesepuluh 2009.. cepatnya masa berlalu.. 2008 dah semakin hari semakin jauh.. hmm.. there were so many things happened in 2008.. dan bnyk keputusan besar terpaksa dilakukan.. dan terlalu bnyk peristiwa yg mengajar ttg kehidupan sebenar.. Banyak kesedihan.. pengorbanan.. kehilangan.. tapi dari semua itu terlalu banyak juga pengalaman.. pengalaman yg tiada tolok bandingnya.. hari ini aku merenung-renung kembali detik2 itu.. ada airmata yg menitis.. ada sesuatu yg tak mampu diluahkan dengan perkataan..


Aku melangkah ke 2009 tanpa azam.. cuma.. aku mengharapkan suatu langkah baru.. satu kehidupan baru.. yg aku sendiri tak tahu bagaimana untuk melangkah ke arah itu.. sukar untuk mentafsirkan masa hadapan.. dan sukar juga untuk menggambarkan kehidupan yg akan datang.. aku cuma mampu berharap.. cuma mampu berdoa.. moga2 segala impian yg selama ini menjadi teman jaga dan lena ku akan kesampaian..

Apa yg kutinggalkan di belakang adalah pegalaman yg tidak ternilai.. kini aku meniti.. bertatih semula mencari arah hidupku.. moga sinar itu akan muncul jua.. dan mungkin aku tidak sekuat ini tanpa ada dia.. yg sentiasa menjadi nadi hidupku kini... thanks..

Tirai baru bermula untuk 2009.. walau masih samar.. tapi ku mengharapkan sinar & harapan baru..



~mel
dgn penuh harapan...